* may be applied to relations between partners?
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Last time I met Bruno Giuffra column in Us magazine. He spoke of rules to consider a negotiation between employers. I immediately saw not a question to mind: Will it be applied to relations between partners?
may sound cold, but true. Our everyday life is a constant negotiation. Mine is perhaps obsessively, since I was awake. I have not opened their eyes, but I'm deciding whether I wake or sleep a little longer, which means less time for cleaning and breakfast, could leave the bread to the car? "I get an hour after work and stay until an hour later? Business like myself and then with the other people during the day.
Every relationship is a company: involves plans and goals, we must take it forward, take risks, get benefits and, of course, one has to negotiate with your partner. Always. Giuffra offers 8 steps to success in negotiations. I repeat, may be applied to relations between partners?
1. The first rule to remember is that (a) get what you negotiate and not what you deserve.
Brilliant. If you think you get everything you want from your partner, you're wrong. What happens is a product of how they carried things in their relationship. You can think of karma as well, and happened to remember the phrase that says "A country that elects the president it deserves." Do you have the boyfriend you deserve? Because you always think you deserve much, but, remember, 'what you deserve' can mean rather 'you deserved. "
2. always look a picture in which both parties gain something.
Lucid. Sometimes (or often) has to give. It's simple: we all want to win in a relationship, but as people are different and want different things, then we should not aspire to win everything in this relationship. It would be selfish. Yields on some things and get the other willingly. Sure, if you give in with good face, too.
3. Negotiation itself is a process not an event.
clear. The negotiation will last the entire relationship and should be developed and strengthened. We become versed in the art and we know that every little negotiation is part of a larger, are not isolated. That's the trick.
4. Learn everything you can about the other party before you start negotiating.
At least in our case it should go to the top. It's like discovering, decoding or reading another person's resume before tossing into the pool. Eye: both to decide if you really want a relationship with that person, whether it was really a successful business, or to learn more about how to take things for that relationship. Anyway have just one aspect of known at the time, of course, but it is better to know everything you can before. Thus launched a very personal recommendation: leave the first time with that person. Although they enjoy it from the beginning, people are not always as shown in the beginning, so log out and then a few months and to formalize. It's just a board, could not follow and I could go fine too. Conversely, believe me. Yet you just know there will be issues once the relationship. Because, as you know, every secret will come to know, sooner or later. Even the most hidden (do not we, dear?).
5. Clearly define the limits of negotiation.
always clear how much you have to tolerate the other person. Keep it very clear, because if not at the moment may take much more of the account or passes several things that warm water then go blowing up the relationship. If your tolerance pita can be pulled too, remember that everything breaks sometime.
6. Accept silence. That did not bother to use it as a bargaining tool.
Giuffra, become a genius, says: "remember that one is a slave to your words and I love your silence." There are various reasons why sometimes you just shut up: you've done something wrong, you've asked for forgiveness and now holds no more crying that you going to drop (no more excuses, not reasons to look around either), made a mistake, for the sake of the relationship, it is better to say, but correct on your own or repent and never do it again, silence can sometimes say a thousand words, acts, too.
7. face intimidation, show no fear.
Do not be trampled and never lose your independence. And if others question your relationship, remember que es tuya y no de ellos, y por más que pueda ser difícil, la historia de David y Goliat a la que hace referencia Giuffra siempre es alentadora.
8. Finalmente, establezca un clima de cooperación y no de conflicto.
Sí y no. Hay que llevar una relación pacífica y de cooperación, en la que ambos se ayuden a ser mejores personas, ese debería ser el fin póstumo. Pero tampoco debe ser todo perfecto: las peleas a veces pueden ser un ingrediente que le dará más sabor a your relationship. Do not let it run your hand no more! And I quote the good Giuffra, "in the end, you must build relationships that are lasting. Corporate wear causes a bargaining dispute is somewhat useless and, on the other hand, the world always turns, and so avoiding a conflict is almost always the smartest. Use them (these 8 tips) and see how you get some advantage. "
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