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in. Ass. (January 25, 2009)

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The business of love (or business is business)

* may be applied to relations between partners?

Last time I met Bruno Giuffra column in Us magazine. He spoke of rules to consider a negotiation between employers. I immediately saw not a question to mind: Will it be applied to relations between partners?

may sound cold, but true. Our everyday life is a constant negotiation. Mine is perhaps obsessively, since I was awake. I have not opened their eyes, but I'm deciding whether I wake or sleep a little longer, which means less time for cleaning and breakfast, could leave the bread to the car? "I get an hour after work and stay until an hour later? Business like myself and then with the other people during the day.

Every relationship is a company: involves plans and goals, we must take it forward, take risks, get benefits and, of course, one has to negotiate with your partner. Always. Giuffra offers 8 steps to success in negotiations. I repeat, may be applied to relations between partners?

1. The first rule to remember is that (a) get what you negotiate and not what you deserve.

Brilliant. If you think you get everything you want from your partner, you're wrong. What happens is a product of how they carried things in their relationship. You can think of karma as well, and happened to remember the phrase that says "A country that elects the president it deserves." Do you have the boyfriend you deserve? Because you always think you deserve much, but, remember, 'what you deserve' can mean rather 'you deserved. "

2. always look a picture in which both parties gain something.

Lucid. Sometimes (or often) has to give. It's simple: we all want to win in a relationship, but as people are different and want different things, then we should not aspire to win everything in this relationship. It would be selfish. Yields on some things and get the other willingly. Sure, if you give in with good face, too.

3. Negotiation itself is a process not an event.

clear. The negotiation will last the entire relationship and should be developed and strengthened. We become versed in the art and we know that every little negotiation is part of a larger, are not isolated. That's the trick.

4. Learn everything you can about the other party before you start negotiating.

At least in our case it should go to the top. It's like discovering, decoding or reading another person's resume before tossing into the pool. Eye: both to decide if you really want a relationship with that person, whether it was really a successful business, or to learn more about how to take things for that relationship. Anyway have just one aspect of known at the time, of course, but it is better to know everything you can before. Thus launched a very personal recommendation: leave the first time with that person. Although they enjoy it from the beginning, people are not always as shown in the beginning, so log out and then a few months and to formalize. It's just a board, could not follow and I could go fine too. Conversely, believe me. Yet you just know there will be issues once the relationship. Because, as you know, every secret will come to know, sooner or later. Even the most hidden (do not we, dear?).

5. Clearly define the limits of negotiation.

always clear how much you have to tolerate the other person. Keep it very clear, because if not at the moment may take much more of the account or passes several things that warm water then go blowing up the relationship. If your tolerance pita can be pulled too, remember that everything breaks sometime.

6. Accept silence. That did not bother to use it as a bargaining tool.

Giuffra, become a genius, says: "remember that one is a slave to your words and I love your silence." There are various reasons why sometimes you just shut up: you've done something wrong, you've asked for forgiveness and now holds no more crying that you going to drop (no more excuses, not reasons to look around either), made a mistake, for the sake of the relationship, it is better to say, but correct on your own or repent and never do it again, silence can sometimes say a thousand words, acts, too.

7. face intimidation, show no fear.

Do not be trampled and never lose your independence. And if others question your relationship, remember que es tuya y no de ellos, y por más que pueda ser difícil, la historia de David y Goliat a la que hace referencia Giuffra siempre es alentadora.

8. Finalmente, establezca un clima de cooperación y no de conflicto.

Sí y no. Hay que llevar una relación pacífica y de cooperación, en la que ambos se ayuden a ser mejores personas, ese debería ser el fin póstumo. Pero tampoco debe ser todo perfecto: las peleas a veces pueden ser un ingrediente que le dará más sabor a your relationship. Do not let it run your hand no more! And I quote the good Giuffra, "in the end, you must build relationships that are lasting. Corporate wear causes a bargaining dispute is somewhat useless and, on the other hand, the world always turns, and so avoiding a conflict is almost always the smartest. Use them (these 8 tips) and see how you get some advantage. "

clear. I hope to implement them soon, very soon. Will?

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Balance 2008: Lived experience is only the beginning of things to come

* In life, we want many things in the time, but deep down we always know what we want for life

For his merry l rich, a accurate way to describe this moment. The Killers - Spaceman .

begin at the end: the balance of 2008 I left as a complete winner. Unexpected Award for whom many gave up, for months beyond that sound as far as March and April. Today I find a complete proudly say it has been a good year.

Those who have read this blog, at least occasionally, read what I mean. From a pessimistic post circular history until the rogue The forbidden love and impossible love , through The art of forgetting , May God take confessed, How be a good ex-girlfriend and The art of forgiving , among others, this year elextra was painted pink. I say this because it became single-minded, and only learned about love. Do not blame him, were the circumstances. Vicissitudes that were in the past and which are anecdotal oceanfront other good events to remember this 2008 brought me. And I think that in part has also been noticed with the latest posts published.

introspective This therapy has been more than healthy and more than positive. And the large balance is to understand that one knows and understands the love after having lived and suffered. I am not speaking of mere infatuation or 'crush', as would the Yankees. I speak of lasting relationships of mutual love, love, loving and being loved.

face I've found friends, who in turn made me more depressed, each in its way, the same question: Will it happen? And the answer was always the same: Everything passes. When? How much more do I have to wait? As the same time will let you know. At least I think the thing can change. I say just one more thing: do not expect to sit.

So what to do with such singleness? For men no shortage of women, for women over men. Not bad. Is it should be. Not speak of my own in this respect for unmarried girls who do want. If my balance is so good not just for them, though largely, and everyone knows why, in different amounts.

better to talk about the other things he left in 2008.

1. flavored Old reunions until then.

In its first part, the bachelor left a balance of several women of the past uncover ancient Transas again. Typical situation of a single.

2. propose a priori a few steps to forget, and successfully complete the process.

From "Venting" to "Never mind, little by little is actually achieved (because I have exceeded announced soon) the steps specified in The art of forgetting . "Forgiveness. Do not hold grudges "is the last step with the post The art of forgiving did not contradict him, but I modified. And with that change is not always said that one should forgive, but it is better to live without bitterness. That last step was exceeded, when I decided that I would not forgive anything.

3. More friends and new worlds to discover.

Singleness restored my old friends and many new ones. It also strengthened others. That yes I have to thank: thanks for letting me free.

4. More time.

and more partying, more rock'n roll, more writing, more guitar, more friends, more women, more chamba, more success, more money, more everything. Greatest satisfactions. Less movies, but there was drama. Postrecitos little meals and less, but more than that figuratively. More of the best, and less than trivial.

5. Haber abierto los ojos y haberme dado cuenta de la realidad.

Dice Xavier Velasco, en tremenda novela Diablo Guardián, “La gente se enamora y no vomita. Por eso se envenena”.

6. Metas.

Tener nuevas metas y proyecciones more in line with what I always dreamed.

7. be happy.

If

doubted that the end of this year what ended up being, they were wrong. I am happy, and I'm even happier to be.

is true, deep rather be together. The search is ongoing. A search for mostly passive I hope. I hope to meet a girl and, in just a few exits, saying "she is," and ready. Endpoint.

In 2009 started very well and promises a perfect year. Do you find it?

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